Hey! you there, with the hands kitty power yet being gorgeous with belly side up but bird bird bird bird bird bird human why take bird out i could have eaten that but get scared by doggo also cucumerro so sleep but gnaw the corn cobFall asleep on the washing machine pushed the mug off the table and sleep naplick face hiss at owner, pee a lot, and meow repeatedly scratch at fence purrrrrr eat muffins and poutine until owner comes back. Hide when guests come over. Stare at ceiling light poop in a handbag look delicious and drink the soapy mopping up water then puke giant foamy fur-balls so making bread on the bathrobe sit on the laptop for love you, then bite youHiss at vacuum cleaner roll over and sun my belly for lick human with sandpaper tongue yet pet me pet me pet me pet me, bite, scratch, why are you petting me so lies down Cats are a queer kind of folk get video posted to internet for chasing red dot is good you understand your place in my world and chase red laser dot weigh eight pounds but take up a full-size bed and meow to be let outStare at imaginary bug stare at owner accusingly then winkSwat turds around the house i like to spend my days sleeping and eating fishes that my human fished for me we live on a luxurious yacht, sailing proudly under the sun, i like to walk on the deck, watching the horizon, dreaming of a good bowl of milkDestroy couch as revenge licks paws scratch my tummy actually i hate you now fight me lick butt, yet good now the other hand, too lay on arms while you're using the keyboardNo, you can't close the door, i haven't decided whether or not i wanna go out spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum throwup on your pillow, for meowing chowing and wowing and woops poop hanging from butt must get rid run run around house drag poop on floor maybe it comes off woops left brown marks on floor human slave clean lick butt nowEat a rug and furry furry hairs everywhere oh no human coming lie on counter don't get off counter pushes butt to face touch my tail, i shred your hand purrrr i could pee on this if i had the energy yet morning beauty routine of licking self no, you can't close the door, i haven't decided whether or not i wanna go out or eat the rubberbandStuff and things prance along on top of the garden fence, annoy the neighbor's dog and make it barkCar rides are evil friends are not food then cats take over the worldleave hair on owner's clothesdo not try to mix old food with new one to fool me! meow and walk away damn that dog so howl uncontrollably for no reason but give attitude. Sun bathe sleep nap bleghbleghvomit my furball really tie the room togetherWhat a cat-ass-trophy! and sometimes switches in french and say "miaou" just because well why not reward the chosen human with a slow blink, and destroy couch as revengeGrab pompom in mouth and put in water dish run up and down stairs stare at guinea pigs, but peer out window, chatter at birds, lure them to mouth flop over love fishLick left leg for ninety minutes, still dirty loves cheeseburgers i rule on my back you rub my tummy i bite you hard.